5 Signs that you are not ready for a relationship

Are you single ? Do you think you’re ready for a relationship ? Or maybe you’re in a relationship, and don’t know what you got yourself into? Friend, if you fit in any of these categories I advise you to keep reading!

We as people can get carried away following the lead of our emotions rather than the lead of the Spirit to make decisions. Especially, when it comes to who to date, or be in relationship with. When we don’t follow His leading things can get pretty awkward, real quick! You see, the Spirit of God calls to our spirit. He reveals to us the will of God for our lives in every season. It’s important for us to understand that when it comes to our desire for a relationship. If God’s truly leading you in all things there’s know need to be anxious about anything! Do know that God will reveal to you the right time for a specific chapter to unfold in your life. For those of you who are single this includes when it’s time to be in a relationship. Now, some of you may be asking how will God reveal this to me? Well, usually people believe they will hear Him audibly saying the exact date they should be in a relationship, or name their lover to be. But this is not what you should be seeking as confirmation whether you should, or should not pursue a relationship.

I’m not saying that He won’t reveal it to you in that manner. However, I will say that God will most likely reveal His answer to you based on your relationship with Him. Here’s what I mean by that. The way you pursue God shows Him that He can trust you with one of His daughters or sons in the context of a relationship. If you don’t give 100% in your relationship with Jesus than neither will you give it in a relationship with a significant other. Before you make that sigh know that I’m not trying to rain on your parade. If you do desire to be in a relationship now, or in the near future that’s not my intention at all. I just want you to know what to expect in a relationship before you find yourself in one.

As a matter of fact, when you know what to expect you better position yourself to receive what deserves your time and attention. So, if you’re single and desire a godly relationship? These are 5 signs that will either confirm you’re ready, or help prepare you to be ready. My prayer for you after reading this is to guard your heart. Wait on the Lord to share it with someone worthy enough to take good care of it! From that being said, here are 5 signs that you may not  be  ready for a relationship! Enjoy and be encouraged!

1. You are not ready for a relationship if you are wanting to be loved by someone of the opposite sex. Yes, I went there! This should not be the main reason to desire to be in a relationship. You should already know what love is. Better yet, who love is! God is love and the love He has for you is greater than any love you will ever experience. A lot of times I see individuals get into relationships for that specific reason. When instead they should be falling in love with the maker of their hearts and pursue purpose! Because that is really what will prepare you to love a significant other and be loved by them.

2. Everyone else seems to be in a relationship. You know this one right here never made since to me. Why? Because as I mentioned earlier, we should be following the leading of the Spirit. His ways are perfect and true. If we tend to follow the leading of the crowd we will eventually get hurt. Would you want to have sex before marriage because everyone else is doing it? Would you want to fall off a bridge because everyone is doing it? Be wise about the reasons and motives behind what you desire. Also, where is the love in that? Make sure that you’re intentional with those you let have access to your heart and vice versa.

3. You’re tired of being single. Yup, you knew this one was coming! I’ll tell you the problem with this statement–discontentment. Paul said in Philippians 4:12:

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living plenty or in want.

I wanted to share that verse to show you how contentment is key in having peace in each season of life. Once you stop practicing the art of gratitude you will find yourself dissatisfied even with “plenty.” Eventually, one day you may end up saying, “I’m tired of being in a relationship.” If you do end up reaching that point where than do you stand? Basically the cycle will never end. I get that many of you may have been single for a long time and feel it’s time you should go on a date, be in a relationship, or get married? I understand! It’s okay to feel this way. Just don’t have the mindset that you need to be in a relationship in order to feel fulfilled in life. Know that it’s still important to be content even in this season. Also, I’d ask the question why are you so tired of being single? Have you been pursuing purpose, taking good care of your well-being, or are you simply bored because you don’t have someone to call, Bae? Do know there is such a thing as a good tired. In other words, if you’re able to thrive being single most likely you will continue to thrive in a relationship. Don’t believe the lie that a relationship will completely change your life! I would say rather it increases whatever was already at work in a person’s life when they were single. You see, some people don’t have a problem becoming single again, if you have nothing of value to add to his, or her life. Those type of people “are not tired of being single.” They are more tired about not reaching their highest potential. Also, they understand that in order to do so they would need to partner with someone on their Journey who is more, or equally passionate as them to reach it!

4. You are not satisfied with being alone.

One of the most attractive trait to have is confidence. Someone who’s confident is able to enjoy his or her own company. Friend, if seeking Jesus and purpose doesn’t give you life than I don’t know what will? We must know our value and worth comes from knowing who we are in Him! I remember a season in my life where I was so satisfied with pursuing Jesus that being in a relationship was far from my mind. In fact, I had ask God to only bring someone who loved Him way more than I did. Someone who was more passionate about seeking His kingdom, righteousness, and pouring into others for His glory than I was.

We see that in Genesis Adam was aware of the presence of God in his life and was actively doing what God told him to do. It wasn’t until He was doing that God found it not good for Adam to be alone. It wasn’t Adam who thought it wasn’t good for him to be alone, God did! If you don’t love your own company what makes you think you’ll love someone else’s. By the way, I want you to keep in mind you’re never alone. God is always with you! You can tell Him anything that is troubling you on the inside. Know that the time is coming when God will say those same words to you. In God’s eyes you are special and highly favored! In His perfect timing  He will present to you your rib-mate and you will say:

This is now bone of my bones flesh of my flesh (Genesis 2:23)

5. You don’t want to submit your will to that of someone else. You are still selfish in the way that you live your life.

I said this before that relationship is about reciprocity. A relationship is not meant to be one-sided. Each individual in a relationship must be willing to submit their will for that of the other person. The first sign that shows someone is not ready for a relationship is that they want to be loved by the opposite sex! One of the most important ways you will know you’re ready for a relationship is that you’ve been successfully processed to love someone as Christ loves you. It’s not that you’re desperately waiting to be loved by them! Being loved by them does matter. However, again, it should not be the main reason you desire a relationship in the first place. We as believers are called to love others. Even more in the context of marriage. For example, you will never love other people they way you will love your future spouse. For one, you won’t be with those people all the time. You don’t know them beyond the surface. But, you will get to be with your future spouse for the rest of your life. Which means you will have to love them at their best and worst. Whether they make you smile or cry. “In sickness and in heath.” I intentionally jumped straight into the topic of marriage with this one because an intimate relationship between two individuals main destination should be marriage. Marriage as we know from the Bible is not just so people can have sex. Yes, that’s a part of marriage! We know that the Lord intends for us to become “ONE” and ” MULTIPLY,” but the main purpose for marriage is to imitate and reflect the love that Christ has for the Church to the world! To build up families that will glorify God and expand His kingdom. Lastly, whether you’re single, or taken the purpose of relationship is to love someone in such a way that you both are being made more like Christ, and pointing each other CLOSER  to God each day!

We’ve reached the end of the ” 5 signs that you are not ready for a relationship.” I hope you found it very encouraging! I believe whether you’re single or in a relationship, God is wanting you to be more like Jesus! He also knows what’s best for you and how to bring it to your life. Friend, stay encouraged! Continue to believe that God is faithful, because He is! I know He will keep His Word and His promises to you. In this season pursue your First Love like you’ve never done before!

-JLP

“It only gets better from here.”

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